On Safety: Before the Breakthrough
If you are reading this, I am certain you are calling or reaching out toward a healed version of yourself. A version of you that’s available but that feels far away, separated by blocks and barriers of fear. In this moment I’d like to remind you that you are already whole, despite the stories you’ve been told about your “fractures” or your “brokenness”. I believe that we are all already fully empowered - simply at different stages of remembering that empowerment. That said, transformation and healing is desirable when our present state feels governed by fear, limited by old programming, lacking in true soul resonance. Let the first activation of this post be this:
I seek healing and transformation, not as a means to fix myself, become whole again, or be perceived in a certain way by others - but to expand past limits that keep me small, to welcome even more joy and love into my life experience, and to step even more into my sovereignty, empowerment, beingness.
If this resonates, I invite you to continue reading about my perception of safety and its important role in expansion.
Through my personal experiences with healing and transformation, and through my experience guiding others through these portals, it has become undeniably clear that transformation or real healing can only happen when we are held by a sense of safety.
Healing and transformation do not happen in survival mode - fight, flight, freeze, fawn. And in my perception, a great deal of our people are operating on autopilot in survival mode instead of consciously in a regulated state more often than not. Survival mode means burnout and scarcity mindset, dis-ease in the body and mind, etc. And survival mode is the autopilot response when a sense of safety, specific to each individual, is not cultivated.
Healing asks us to soften. To open. To feel. And we cannot do that - not sustainably, fully - without first creating a container of safety around ourselves.
So what is safety really?
Safety isn’t necessarily a hefty savings account, a dream house, or even someone to hold your hand. Safety means:
knowing it as truth that you’re allowed to take up space
being received and held in your most tender states - whether that’s by others, your environment, or yourself
having the permission to pause, reflect, feel
In my personal experience, safety took time to cultivate. It took trial and error to first learn to recognize my truth and awareness. It took trial and error to implement honoring my truth and awareness. And it took trial and error to figure out what safety needed to look like for me in each moment. I had to understand that safety could mean different things in different circumstances. I had to accept myself as multidimensional, and release the old label of being “volatile”. For me, safety now comes from within myself - although the sense of safety is amplified tremendously when I can be received by another. Safety for me is being able to say no even if it doesn’t make sense or make others happy. It is having a supportive environment where I can regulate. It is being surrounded by others whose words and actions are aligned, and whose patterns prove that I can sink even deeper into peace and presence.
What is safety to you, in this moment? There is no universal formula - only your nervous system saying, “Ah… here, I can rest.”
What is safety the gateway to healing and transformation?
When the body is bracing or the mind is scanning for danger, we cannot process trauma. Processing requires having one foot in the present and the other in the wound/the past. A dance ensues. But there is no dance when we’re in survival mode. There is no bend or grace or feeling, all of which are necessary components of healing and transformation.
When we’re in survival mode, we’re in the energies of need, immediacy, rush, urgency. How do these words feel to your system? To heal or transform, we must release need and anchor choice, release immediacy-rush-urgency and anchor trust and flow.
What is the process for transformation/healing?
In my experience, transformation and healing is a four part process.
establishing safety
collect tools and practices to come back to when you need support
mindset work (like affirmations and rewiring negative thought loops) & inspired/aligned action (balancing work, rest, and play)
And along the way, 4. make aligned choices! When we choose what feels like a “yes”, our confidence and trust in self stays strong, which supports the rest of the process. For example, I had established safety, I had my tools and practices ready, and I was doing the mindset work and taking inspired action - then I ate some food that I knew wouldn’t make me feel good, and I completely fell apart, spiraling into negative self-talk and judgement.
So how does this feel to you? And what has it stirred up on the topic of safety?
In-joy,
Morgan
